The Hamster Effect

This is what happens to hamsters when midterms approach. I've been in the spinning stage for about a week now, and am doing my best to not fall out. If Rollins is going to make me earn my fall break, I'm going to just tell Rollins to BRING IT.

What I do to get by...

Thursdays are looooooong. In order to last from 8:30am epidemiology lab all the way through my biostatistics lab that ends at 8pm, I allow myself a healthy dose of caffeine on Thursdays. This helps me to not be a zombie in the morning, keeps me from nodding off during lectures and gets me into a productive mindset during my breaks between classes. I got a decent start on my policy brief for Monday because of it. But because I do not allow caffeine to become a daily habit, it has a lasting effect into the evening. It's almost 11:30 and I'm still pretty wired. I can feel that I'm tired, but I know my eyes won't stay closed if I try to go to bed. Here's to trying so I can get an early start with some pilates and a shower in the morning before heading to school.

I've re-entered that stage in which I gauge the success of the day on how much I've accomplished, or how much less I have to stress about. Welcome to grad school, sucker, the next academic hamster wheel to your future.

On hills and climbs

Everywhere I go in this town (read: small parcel of a large metropolitan area) involves both uphill and downhill. This observation has been facilitated by my need to bike everywhere. The downhills are enjoyable (except I worry that my thinning brake pads will wear down more quickly if I ride them too much), and the uphills leave me grumbling and longing for the gloriously flat terrain of the midwest. My route home is different than my route to school, because I aim to minimize the amount of Force x displacement (aka work) I have to do. However, I feel my legs getting stronger with each passing day!  The worst of these topographical obstacles is the one that stands between the complex gate and my apartment. It's steep and there's no preceding downhill on which to gain momentum. I have a grand challenge (in other words, screw you, gigantic hill! I want to go home.) awaiting me every day I leave home on two wheels. I have not yet succumbed to walking my two wheels up the Hill of Death yet, but one of these days, I might just have to. At least I'm not wasting away into nothing. I've got the benefit of having exercise built into my day.

I was thinking about the ups and downs of my commute to school today and thought how my means of transportation translates to the ups and downs of my first month in a new environment. I was really down at the beginning of the week, feeling incompetent and overwhelmed by academic and social expectations. I had spent the long weekend trying to get a jump on things, only to get discouraged by midweek. However, instead of wallowing in discouragement, I found that turning to those around me-- classmates, professors, etc.--helped me to realize I am completely capable, but it will be a lot more enjoyable if I don't try to do it alone. Every downhill here has been accompanied by an uphill; I just need to be mindful that while I'm trudging up the Hill of Death, I'll get to go back down it on my way to school the next day.

I am capable of the challenges before me. It simply requires exertion and effort. What I can gather from this analogy is that I am in a new place. The topography is different than I'm used to, but I'm learning to navigate it. The uphill implies a tough climb, but each uphill is inevitably accompanied by a downhill. My first month in Atlanta has not been the bed of roses that I imagined, but reality never looks like the idealized picture you envision in your head. I'm not always happy when I'm grumbling my way up a steep slope on two wheels, but I know that this hilly terrain is what I'm meant to be navigating right now.