so close i can taste it

I'm days from completion of my first semester. Feeling the weight of final assignments and exams being lifted, and I still have two exams to go. I'm not quite done, but I'm certainly through the worst of it. Prepared and ready to coast to the end...! It's been a wild ride, this semester.

Tutoring this semester has given me an appreciation for everything I've learned over the years. I had to explain the terms "abortion," "discrimination" and "unprecedented" today. We went over "minority" and something else I can't remember last week. He remembered minority, and that made me feel like I was actually helping him. I can't imagine the challenge of navigating high school, and studying (and understanding) U.S. History in this case, with a limited working proficiency in English. How do you understand the impact of Roe v. Wade without the basic vocabulary surrounding the case? Or learn about the dynamism of the Civil Rights movement from a book if discrimination and minority are nothing more than words that are difficult to pronounce much less meaningful? We are so quick to use written language as a crutch in teaching and learning. There's got to be a better way to communicate the important ideas of history (and other subjects) and make them come alive for these kids.

I'm totally thrown off by the fact that the holidays are fast approaching. The climatic cues I'm used to aren't anywhere to be found in the South. It was in the mid-60s today. It feels like October, and the radios are playing Christmas songs. It feels strange, but the mild weather is easy to get used to, I'll admit. Being home for parts of December and January will surely be a jolt to the system.

15 minutes late

i missed the 11th minute of the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of the 11th year of this millennium by 15 minutes. worth commemorating anyway, right? this day comes but once every hundred years!

a nod of appreciation to the veterans for their many sacrifices as well.

a day in the life

The hills were alive this morning on my walk to school. Rays of the sun were breaking through the trees like you imagine they do in heaven. The temperature was brisk but not cold and even though brightly colored leaves illuminate many trees, fallen leaves have become to accumulate on the walking path. No sooner had I passed the university president's house that a red-tailed hawk swooped down yards in front of me for its breakfast and then took off back into the canopy. Goooooood morning!

Guest lecturers spoke to us in not one, but two classes. A veterinary epidemiologist who was responsible for investigating an outbreak of cysticercosis on a cattle feedlot shared his firsthand experience with the material that formed the basis of our weekly homework assignment. In another class, we heard the life story of a European diplomat who suffered under communism in eastern Europe but managed to persist and succeed anyway.

I spent the dinner hour as I usually do on Tuesdays: volunteering tutoring refugee kids. This has been the most life-giving volunteer experience I have ever had. Watching the wheels turn in these boys' heads as they make strides toward understanding math, history, chemistry, reading. I always leave this place with a smile and inspired by the potential and effort of these kids.

Though I had ambitions for diligence the remainder of my evening, it instead evolved into conversations with some of the people who are most important to me. Taking this time was my chance to feel like a human instead of a robot and has given me the energy I need to get up tomorrow, focus and dedicate myself to the task at hand.

Summary: life is good today.

marking time

two years ago today, i was sleeping under a mosquito net, sweating a lot, taking cold showers and reflecting on a recent trip to nicaragua. 

one year ago today, i had my on-campus interview that accompanied the submission of my fulbright application. i tearfully let go of six months of research, soul-searching and proposal writing.

today, i biked to school in the dark because the sun hadn't come up yet. i handled birds we caught at piedmont park. ate lunch and studied on the patio at panera and generally felt good about where i am and what i'm doing.

each day i feel more comfortable biking in the city. i made it through midterms and can take the long weekend to breathe and enjoy fall.... and hopefully catch up on some sleep.

The Hamster Effect

This is what happens to hamsters when midterms approach. I've been in the spinning stage for about a week now, and am doing my best to not fall out. If Rollins is going to make me earn my fall break, I'm going to just tell Rollins to BRING IT.

What I do to get by...

Thursdays are looooooong. In order to last from 8:30am epidemiology lab all the way through my biostatistics lab that ends at 8pm, I allow myself a healthy dose of caffeine on Thursdays. This helps me to not be a zombie in the morning, keeps me from nodding off during lectures and gets me into a productive mindset during my breaks between classes. I got a decent start on my policy brief for Monday because of it. But because I do not allow caffeine to become a daily habit, it has a lasting effect into the evening. It's almost 11:30 and I'm still pretty wired. I can feel that I'm tired, but I know my eyes won't stay closed if I try to go to bed. Here's to trying so I can get an early start with some pilates and a shower in the morning before heading to school.

I've re-entered that stage in which I gauge the success of the day on how much I've accomplished, or how much less I have to stress about. Welcome to grad school, sucker, the next academic hamster wheel to your future.

On hills and climbs

Everywhere I go in this town (read: small parcel of a large metropolitan area) involves both uphill and downhill. This observation has been facilitated by my need to bike everywhere. The downhills are enjoyable (except I worry that my thinning brake pads will wear down more quickly if I ride them too much), and the uphills leave me grumbling and longing for the gloriously flat terrain of the midwest. My route home is different than my route to school, because I aim to minimize the amount of Force x displacement (aka work) I have to do. However, I feel my legs getting stronger with each passing day!  The worst of these topographical obstacles is the one that stands between the complex gate and my apartment. It's steep and there's no preceding downhill on which to gain momentum. I have a grand challenge (in other words, screw you, gigantic hill! I want to go home.) awaiting me every day I leave home on two wheels. I have not yet succumbed to walking my two wheels up the Hill of Death yet, but one of these days, I might just have to. At least I'm not wasting away into nothing. I've got the benefit of having exercise built into my day.

I was thinking about the ups and downs of my commute to school today and thought how my means of transportation translates to the ups and downs of my first month in a new environment. I was really down at the beginning of the week, feeling incompetent and overwhelmed by academic and social expectations. I had spent the long weekend trying to get a jump on things, only to get discouraged by midweek. However, instead of wallowing in discouragement, I found that turning to those around me-- classmates, professors, etc.--helped me to realize I am completely capable, but it will be a lot more enjoyable if I don't try to do it alone. Every downhill here has been accompanied by an uphill; I just need to be mindful that while I'm trudging up the Hill of Death, I'll get to go back down it on my way to school the next day.

I am capable of the challenges before me. It simply requires exertion and effort. What I can gather from this analogy is that I am in a new place. The topography is different than I'm used to, but I'm learning to navigate it. The uphill implies a tough climb, but each uphill is inevitably accompanied by a downhill. My first month in Atlanta has not been the bed of roses that I imagined, but reality never looks like the idealized picture you envision in your head. I'm not always happy when I'm grumbling my way up a steep slope on two wheels, but I know that this hilly terrain is what I'm meant to be navigating right now.

Blast from the past

Remember Captain Planet? I named my pet cat after one of the characters when I was four. My memory of this cartoon is not very vivid, but apparently it took on some pretty heavy issues, in this case HIV/AIDS (to be followed by Parts 2 and 3). Impressive for an early 90s children's show.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...

I really was never in Kansas, but I've recently seen Wisconsin, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee and finally Georgia, marking the start of a new chapter. Despite the excitement of a new adventure, it is strange to not be in Morris anymore. I miss what's simple and familiar in a place where people are quirky and accepted for who they are and what they bring to the table. In this big, new place, "parallel" streets intersect, side roads are never through streets and cyclists take their lives in their hands going to the grocery store. In other words, I'm working on finding my way around this city without a car, and its certainly not the ideal situation I'd hoped for. I find myself longing for the days of a five minute walk to class and long bike rides where the only traffic is the occasional tractor or combine. Its also hot and sticky, so anywhere I go, I'm a guaranteed sweat hog upon arrival. They tell me it cools down eventually.

Despite some of the difficulties I've faced in my first couple weeks, I'm thrilled to be here.There is a really positive energy at Rollins, among faculty and students alike. I perceived this energy in my painfully brief visit in March, but it was so ostensible that it made other very impressive programs pale in comparison. The faculty are as student-oriented as those in Morris and are world-renowned public health practitioners. This fall, I will be receiving instruction from a faculty member who was part of the WHO's worldwide smallpox eradication team. The school's dean was one of the first to recognize and begin to investigate the AIDS epidemic as it emerged, and within the CDC fought the good fight to save lives despite a stubborn administration. The students are impressive too, coming from a diversity of backgrounds. Many have been in the work force for a few years already, others come from abroad, and others, like me, are fresh out of undergrad. One thing is certain: I am in good (and impressive!) company down here.

Let the adventure begin!

Swing Criollo

Of all the Latin dance rhythms there are, cumbia is far and away my favorite. What I've recently realized is how unique the Costa Rican style of cumbia (call the swing criollo) is. I have not found a soul stateside who has danced cumbia the way I learned it in Costa Rica. The Costa Rican style is so much fun. This guy thinks the swing criollo is emblematic of Tico culture and the national mantra of pura vida, and I would agree. Doesn't it look fun?

If you speak and/or understand Spanish (or can read Portuguese subtitles), this is a documentary made about the history of the swing criollo.

Beholden

Life is moving so quickly forward. The year 2011 (or the first six months of it) has been marked by so many good things. So many blessings. Since January I have been picking up momentum, preparing to move on, ready for new, grand adventures. Dwelling in the present has been a challenge. As plans for the next two years of my life have materialized out of (what seems to be) thin air, it is difficult to not get caught up in that excitement. But really, I wish I could dwell in these experiences for longer than the time allotted.

I am in Holden Village for five weeks this summer, but I feel like I could easily spend a year here. This place fosters good living. Based around three solid, but modest meals a day, I'm expected to work, but also to rest. I dwell in community and meet new people everyday, but also have time and space to seek solitude. I know this is pretty cushy compared to living in the real world, but it feels good to be earning my keep. I earn my meals and my bed, and I make the most of my leisure time.

I couldn't tell you what my expectations were for my partial summer here. I abstractly anticipated meeting new and interesting people, taking in the physical landscape and being able to spend plenty of time reading and reflecting both on what's behind me and before me. I cannot say that any of those expectations haven't been satisfied, but the experience as a whole is different than I imagined it.

Arriving in the Village as a stranger, my first week here was less comfortable than my first week abroad. When traveling abroad, my peers were all strangers but we all came in on a level playing field. All of us had little idea of what to expect from the experience and were diving headlong into a grand adventure together as peers. That experience is the closest likeness to what my arrival in the Village was like, but the discomfort was more extreme. Here, I entered a working system that the folks that greeted me off the bus all had a role in, socially and logistically. I was at a disadvantage having been new to the entire scenario, and getting settled here felt like a more daunting process than adjusting to the culture of a different country. Maybe that's a testament to the strength of Holden culture: how it changes people. Regardless, I become more comfortable with each passing day and after nine days, feel like I am beginning to thrive in my new environment.

Positivity

This video has been the mantra of our apartment the last couple days.


It's all about being optimistic.

Time in Morris is finite. I'll be out of here for the last time in just over a week.

Beginning of the End

I begin my final semester at UMM with a double dose of affirmation. I received notification that I've been accepted into Master of Public Health programs in Epidemiology at two schools: the University of Minnesota and Yale's Schools of Public Health. I still await notification from several other programs and schools, but its feels go to break the ice with positive feedback.

My last semester at UMM embodies liberal arts with courses in biology, history, art history and geography/computer application. Sadly it lacks a subject that has been a mainstay and favorite in my undergraduate education: Spanish. I hope to keep up with Spanish through extra-curricular means: reading independently in Spanish, conversation tables at TMC, teaching ESL to members of Morris' Mexican community, translating outreach and publicity materials for Morris Healthy Eating. The opportunities are many, thankfully. Regardless, I will miss learning and being taught in Spanish on a daily basis. In that respect, last semester was the tops.

So here it begins. Graduation or bust!